1. |
Envision It
02:57
|
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|
took one look at you baby
a moment so nice it only felt natural to leave it
off balance, i felt sick, i told my friends the gist
they smiled and laughed at me and said “no, you’re in love you idiot"
you said you’d never travel for someone
you were on a bus to visit me at dawn
hard to envision it
hard to live within it
hard to feel good
i said i’d never felt this for someone
the most efficient way to end the fun
hard to envision it
hard to live within it
hard to feel good
|
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2. |
Wading
02:03
|
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|
what do i long for?
it's to unlearn a body
relax the muscle not the memory
to be vacant but available to you
to be earnest when confronting what is brutal
If i can never be in the same place twice
For it and i remain renewed
it seems prudent now to
neglect the muscle and the memory
I am vacant, i’m available to you
I am earnest, i am honest
But other waters go flowing on
what do i long for
to wade in the same river again
what do i long for
to wade in the same river as a different man
|
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3. |
||||
|
“how would that make you feel”
she asks in hopes i’ll validate
something inscrutable with
an affirmation of love
when i feel bad, i don’t need you
and when i’m alright, you complicate that
“how would that make you feel
to arrive upon the realization
the numbness is now to you
both the bandage and the wound"
both the bandage and the wound
when i feel bad, i don’t need you
and when it’s alright it’s usually more complicated
|
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4. |
Burden
01:18
|
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|
building and rebuilding a construct of loss
that's performative and perfectible
something i can sell back to myself
when i’m squeamish before the gore
i like to do things for you
but i would do anything to remain desirable to you
that’s my burden
|
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5. |
Fixed Point
02:47
|
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|
i lost intertia
while looking for lessons
sat on the subway
scrolling and obsessing
got in the habit
of letting your absence
become the fixed point,
bad news when i’m laughing
but you don’t seem to think about it
so i don’t need to think about it
silly to feel angry anymore
woke up on my birthday
to cash in my account
lucky and embarrassed
i felt the ice thaw out and knew that
i needed to talked about it
yes i needed to talk about it
silly to feel angry anymore
there’s not much to wager
in forgiving a stranger
i can’t pretend to know you anymore
|
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6. |
Private Space
01:45
|
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|
the lines are mutable, i feel
collapsed on all sides
I give the keys over to another
a figure in darkness i know of
removes my clothes
and swiftly makes me a lover
when you hold my body
and i leave my body
we return just as we left this place
with me and you and him
the closest thing to intimate
i wonder where we kept our private space
time is moveable i watch
you cut from one life
and paste its pieces in another
the present becomes a distraction
And I grow detached
i wait for you to make me a lover
i wait for you to make me a lover
|
||||
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